By Leisa Peterson, Wealthclinic.com
So much depends on self-trust in life.
Self-trust is the key that unlocks the doorway of creative freedom, personal truth and peace of mind. Anyone who learns how to rely upon his or her inner wisdom in life accompanied by practical financial reasoning is prepared to face the unknown with resiliency and vigor.
What is Self-Trust with Money?
Self-trust with money is a deep reliance on one’s own ability to handle financial responsibilities. The idea that “whatever comes my way, I will be able to handle it.”
When you feel self-trust you feel safe depending upon your own mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual resources and that you will not fall apart easily.
The opposite of self-trust is when you are abandoning or regularly going against yourself to the point where doubt and uncertainty control your thoughts. This way of thinking can also bleed into your ability to trust other people with money too.
Why Do We Not Trust Ourselves with Money?
Oftentimes we’ve been raised in situations where we weren’t taught the things we needed to know about money. We weren’t taught how to manage it by our parents, by our education system nor by our employers. This leaves us not always knowing how to make good decisions and choices about money.
Years of being exposed to what not to do with money can cause us to go against what our hearts have to say to us, because our personal truth is seen as inconvenient to the popular narrative happening around us. This causes self-trust to break down to the point where we don’t know how to get it back.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Rebuilding self-trust with money will take time and is well worth the effort. Here are five exercises you can practice regularly to cultivate resilient self-trust.
1 – Set a small, doable goal and then do it.
Self-trust gets built when we do what we say we will do.
When you are in the first stages of building trust, you want to set yourself up for success as much as possible.
What is a small achievable financial goal you can set for yourself to do? Think about something you can do every day with money that allows you to build your mental-muscle and create new habits as fast as possible?
One of my clients knew she had to break a bad mental habit of thinking she was incapable of saving money. To combat this belief in herself, she made it a daily ritual to go into her checking account and move $10 a day into a savings account.
From there she taught herself how to avoid accessing the savings account for anything but what it was designated for, which in her case was the down payment of a new home. Within a very short amount of time she realized that she had become a saver and would never think of herself in the same way again. She later purchased a home for her family as a result of building up the self-trust muscles when it came to saving money.
The action of moving money from her checking account into her savings account supported the belief that she did make good choices about money. It also helped her to feel a sense of excitement and anticipation of what would happen in the future as a result of her success.
If you are in a place where looking at your money is difficult, another option would be to check your checking account balance every day. Use a notebook and every day open your account online and write the date and balance in your notebook.
2 – Be honest, kind and compassionate with yourself.
Another way self-trust with money gets developed is by telling yourself the truth about how you feel about money and receiving that truth with compassion and non-judgement.
Looking at the truth of your finances may be difficult for you. Giving yourself time and space and being gentle as you begin to get clarity on the truth of your current finances is so important. Think of it as a good friend sharing something with you they are feeling some shame around. You would likely be kind and compassionate and not judge them as they share this information. Treat yourself with that same compassion as you uncover the truth of where your finances are now.
One of the reasons we don’t trust ourselves is that we haven’t forgiven ourselves for mistakes we’ve made in the past. As a result we may hold onto regrets and disappointments that continue to haunt us for many years. These inner ‘demons’ keep us from taking risks because we use them as evidence of why we should not try new things nor trust ourselves.
The only way to change these sorts of patterns is to forgive ourselves for the past and let go of the regret or shame we are holding onto. When we forgive we are learning how to love ourselves and others unconditionally which is the foundation of trust.
3 – Listen to your inner wisdom and learn to follow it.
Self-trust is harnessed when we learn how to listen to the sacred wisdom inside of our hearts instead of looking to others to help us find it. By listening within ourselves and following the guidance of what is most important to us, we strengthen our ability to follow it.
All too often we are doing things in life based on what we’ve been told will bring us happiness rather than what we know deep inside is important to us.
When we step back to think about our greatest objective when it comes to money, we will likely notice how the most important thing is to find peace of mind. It is not the amount of money as much as it is about our attitude towards it.
The only way to develop true self-trust with money happens by honoring your emotions and feelings instead of hiding behind them. As you honor your inner feeling sense, you develop trust in your capacity to deal with whatever arises with money.
To get started you can bring greater awareness to what you are thinking and feeling and not just what you are doing with money. Taking time to listen to the physical senses your body is sending and naming them can also help. Noticing when to doubt your automatic responses and taking time to process your feelings by slowing down.
4 – Be willing to take risks and fall down.
Developing self-trust requires the process of going outside of your comfort zone and being okay when things don’t work out as planned.
Building self-trust doesn’t mean that you will always trust yourself to do the right thing with money, it means you honor yourself for trying difficult things. This process helps you break any tendencies towards perfectionism which is the opposite of self-trust.
By taking small steps towards trying new things and being willing to not have them work out as planned, you are exercising resiliency with money. This can also help you notice how to stop giving yourself a hard time for choices and decisions that didn’t work out.
Realizing just because you make a mistake or didn’t understand something, doesn’t mean you will make mistakes or errors in judgement every time. This is how we learn new things.
5 – Hold Yourself Accountable To Achieving a Financial Goal
Sometimes it can feel like setting goals can get you into trouble because if you set a goal and don’t do it, you may feel a lack of self-trust as a result. This leads to avoiding the process of goal setting which can backfire if we aren’t careful.
Trusting yourself is like building a muscle. You don’t just go to the gym and immediately get fit. Instead there is a process that you follow that involves coming back again and again until you reach your goals.
Every time you flex your self-trust muscles you are strengthening them. By setting goals and sharing them with others, you are holding yourself accountable to what is most important to you. This process takes time, patience and a willingness to persevere.
Taking time to set financial goals and create a plan for accomplishing them is something everyone must go through at one point or another. It also helps to share your goals with people you trust so they know you are trying to make changes with money and you’d appreciate their support. Ask them to check in with you and see how you are doing. Being accountable to someone else can help when you are building a new way of being and creating greater self-trust in your life.
Self-trust with money is an invitation to develop a relationship with your true self. You’re learning to become your own best friend. By doing that you create trust in your deepest wisdom and guidance which helps you feel more confident in yourself and peace with your money.
Leisa Peterson is THE Mindful Millionaire Maker. As a coach, author, business growth strategist and founder of WealthClinic, she helps people elevate their financial consciousness by realizing their true value and becoming financially empowered.
She helps inspired business owners become game-changers in their field, achieve million dollar breakthroughs in their business and reach their fullest potential in life.
As a catalyst, mentor and way-shower who has been guiding people from all walks of life through personal transformation for nearly two decades, Leisa uses her unique intuitive and experiential gifts to help clients awaken their innate spirits so they can meet the most complex life challenges with strength, courage and spaciousness.
She’s also the author of The Mindful Millionaire, and podcaster who started selling seeds door-to-door at age 8 and grew her business expertise over-time to become a self-made millionaire by her mid-30’s.
Leisa recently grew her visionary passive income streams by over $30K which also led to doubling her net worth.
Leisa is a CFP® who has over 17 years of coaching and financial advisory experience. Prior to that Leisa was a Fortune 500 executive who built and led record-breaking teams and new divisions within billion dollar companies.
Noted in Forbes as one of 10 Women Driving Growth in Wealth Management and Investing, Leisa has appeared on Gaia tv, Coast to Coast radio, The Wall Street Journal, FastCompany, The Week, Huffington Post, and has been featured on many podcasts and radio shows.